


Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

by Fragile_Porcelain



Series: Freaks [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Broken Dean, Crying Dean Winchester, Declarations Of Love, Dirty Talk, Drunk Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Sam leaving, Good guy Sam Winchester, Hot Bartender, M/M, Separation Anxiety, Short Chapters, Shouting Match, Sibling Incest, Sketchy Bar, Upset Dean, Upset Sam, mild exhibitionism, no drunk sex, thoughts of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fragile_Porcelain/pseuds/Fragile_Porcelain
Summary: A stressful case has the two at each other’s throat. Needing a break, Sam hits the library. Alone. Afraid that Sam is leaving him, Dean chooses to drown his sorrows in alcohol. When Sam returns to find an empty motel room, he worries about what kind of trouble Dean would get himself into. Their misunderstanding leads to a heated argument; emphasis on the words ‘heated’.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the series 'Freaks'.
> 
> Part 1 available:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/8511514
> 
> Part 2 available:   
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8534695/chapters/19565170
> 
> Can be read as a stand alone.

Sam loved Dean. He really did. He had saved the man’s life many time, and Dean had done the same for him. But sometimes, he hated Dean. Sam figured it had something to do with them constantly being together. Also, the case was stumping. Which was frustrating to both of them. It put tensions high, and aggression even higher. Sam sat at the table, listening to Dean's angry rant. 

"... Well I don't know what it is either, Dean." Sam cut in sharply. Dean huffed, angrily. "I'm doing the best I can, but there's no lore. Nothing!"

"Well, your best isn't good enough!" Dean ordered sharply. Sam clenched his jaw. He hated when Dean got so worked up. He would say things, mean thing, without even knowing it. Sam knew that his words were said out of desperation and anger, and he didn't actually mean them. But it still hurt. 

Sam didn't hesitate to grab his jacket as he stood from the table. He snatched the car keys from the hook and headed to the door. Dean, who had occupied himself by cleaning his pistols, looked after his brother confused. 

"Where the hell are you going?" He called after the other man.

"Out!" Sam called, and slammed the door behind him. He wasn't surprised that Dean didn’t follow him. Dean never did. It wasn't like it was their first fight. They had fought a lot over the year. But this was their first screaming match since this whole... Relationship thing had started. Sam would be lying if he said he wasn't heavy heart. 

Sam drove to the library. Maybe he had missed something? Or maybe, without Dean looking over his shoulder, he could actually focus. The building was old, ran by an elderly man, willing to share some stories. He had lived in the town a long time. When he pulled the old obituaries from a back shelf, Sam's spirits rose. Maybe that book would hold some answers. 

It was getting dark outside as Sam flipped through the pages. He had come up with five accounts that could possible harbor a vengefully spirit. But his main focus was no longer on the case. Sam had been at the library for hours, without a word from Dean. Sam checked and rechecked his phone. But there were no missed calls, or texts. A worry began to grow in the bad of his mind. What kind of trouble had Dean gotten into this time?


	2. Chapter 2

Dean watched the door slam shut, with Sam on the other side. Dean was angry, sad, but above all he was scared. He feared that he had driven the other man away. Dean knew he had a temper, and he could be an ass. But the thought that he had ran off Sam was one of the scariest thing he could think of ever happening. 

In the back of his mind, he knew it wasn't true. Sam loved him. Sam told him so every day, multiple times. But Dean couldn't help but wonder if the other man had been lying. How could Sam love him? Dean was a stubborn ass that didn’t deserve to be loved. 

The longer he thought about the other man’s words the more he knew, Sam had lied. The anger grew to join his sadness and Dean was overwhelmed. It caught in his chest and spilled from his eyes. 

He knew Sam was going to leave again. He was good at leaving. He would leave just like dad had, like everyone had. Dean would be on his own, again. One day Dean would be killed in a hunt, and no one would know or care what happened to him. 

Dean threw around that thought in his head. The pain that filled him was unbearable. He could think of nothing better to do. He grabbed his coat and left the hotel. He need a drink or two or twenty. Anything to numb the pain.


	3. Chapter 3

The librarian locked the door behind Sam. He was the last one left. Piled among the old book, Sam was almost sure he knew what they were hunting, and how to kill it. Dean would be proud of him again and they could go back to normal.

Sam had to admit he missed them. The tension this case had brought, placed them both on edge. Sam tried to remember to tell Dean every day that he loved him. Because he did, even when Dean was being an ass. But sometimes they were so busy looking through files, trying to figure out what this thing was, that they would go the whole day without talking. 

It didn’t bother Sam that Dean had not reciprocated his affection. They were just words after all. He knew Dean loved him. He could feel it in the way Dean kissed him, and held him. Before this all started, Dean was distant, now the man would find any excuse to be near and touch Sam. Even if it was just a brush of their shoulder, Sam knew it was Dean’s way of saying he loved him. 

The more Sam thought about it, as he drove back to the motel, the worse he felt. He had acted childish, just storming out like that. He should have been an adult and talked with Dean instead of running off... Again. 

Sam had his apology lined up as he unlocked the motel door. He figured Dean would be in the room, trying to figure out what they were hunting. He never imagined that Dean wouldn't be there. A cold hand gripped his heat when he saw that the place was empty. 

"Dammit Dean!" Sam cursed as he exited. He knew where Dean would be heading, but he couldn’t imagine the trouble he had gotten himself into.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean had won three games of pool, and two hands of poker. But he had already had four shots, and several beers (He lost count). Everything was starting to get a little blurry and his toes were tingling. He could normally last longer, but tonight he was willing to get lost in the alcohol. 

The man behind the bar continued to shoot side glances at him. Dean didn’t miss them. The man was tall (not as tall as Sammy) and had broad shoulders. He wasn’t unattractive. His blue eyes sparkled as he smiled at Dean. He poured him another shot.

"You best be careful, or I'll have to drag your ass home." He watched Dean down another shot. He didn't miss the way Dean's Adam’s apple bobbed. 

"Is that an offer?" Dean asked with his most dashing smile. The man behind the counter smiled and poured him another drink and then another. 

"My shift ends at midnight." The man smirked and popped the tab on a beer bottle. He passed it to Dean with a smile. The man continued about his work. Dean glanced at the clock. Only another's hour. He could wait. 

Sam pulled the car to a stop before the bar. It was the seventh one he had checked. Who knew such a small town could have so many bars. He hoped Dean would be there. It was almost midnight and he was getting more than a little worries about his brother. 

The place smelled like piss and vomit. Smoke filled the air. It was loud and three men were fighting at the pool table. But Sam didn’t notice any of that. His attention was taken by the man sitting at the bar. He had seen that smile before, Dean was flirting. 

But to make matters worse, Dean wasn't flirting with a girl, he was flirting with the man behind the counter. All his fear was replaced with anger as he approached the man. Dean's smile faded as he saw the figure seat himself beside him at the bar. Sam didn’t look happy. 

"Sam." Dean asked, his throat burning as he took another shot. 

“Whatcha doing, Dean?” Sam tried to hide the irritation in his voice. 

“Drinking… If that’s not obvious enough.” 

“You didn’t want to tell me… that you were going out?” 

“Didn’t think you cared.” 

“Of course I care, Dean!” Sam said loudly. Around them the bar fell silent, their attention turning to the two man at the bar. Sam fell silent. He accepted the beer that the bartender passed him. 

“Is there a problem here boys?” He asked quickly, his attention turned to Dean not Sam. It made the younger man angry. 

“We’re find. Thanks.” Sam ordered quickly. The man didn’t move. 

“It’s ok.” Dean sipped his beer. The other man moved away. Sam glared after him.

"Dean, can we get out of here?” Sam offered. He hated that he couldn’t talk to Dean without other overhearing them. 

“What? Now you wanna talk?” 

“Dean, let’s not do this here. Please. Just get in the car, we can go back to the room and talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“I’m trying to work with you here, Dean. But you have to give me something to work with.” 

“What do you want me to say, Sam? You’re the one that left. Not me!” Dean yelled. It echoed in the bar. 

“I want to the library, to do research!” 

“This time! This time you just went to the library. What about next time?! Where the hell are you going to run off to? Back to Stanford? Are you going to run off halfway across the country again?!” 

“That’s not going to happen, Dean. I’m not going to leave you. But I don’t need to be with you every second of the day. It’s alright if we spend time apart. But you should know me well enough to believe that I mean it when I tell you I love you, and I’m not leaving you. Because even when you’re being stubborn, I still love you and I will always love you! YOU PAIN IN THE ASS!” The bar was quiet. So was Dean. 

“I’m leaving Dean, you can come with me. Or you can go home with him. But either way. I still love you because I will always love you.” Sam stood from his stool, heading for the door. His heart was heavy. He could only hope that Dean would choose him. But he wasn’t lying, no matter what, Sam would still love him. 

"Sammy, wait.” Dean’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. “Sammy, I love you!” Dean pulled him into a kiss. It was soft and caring. Sam could taste the whiskey on his tongue. He couldn’t suppress the groan in his throat. Dean nipped at his lips. Dean’s kisses quickly grew more fierce, uncaring about the others that watched them. 

“Dean.” Sam groaned. He tried not to blush at the sound he made. Everyone’s eyes were still on them. 

“Sammy, let’s get out of here.” Dean’s hand pulled him towards the door. Sammy allowed himself to be led away.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean nipped at Sam’s neck as he drove. His hand down the other man’s pants. Drunk Dean was always more horny then sober Dean. Sam figured that their spat had upset the other, and now Dean was trying to make up for everything that had happened. Sam was not happy about the man’s strategy, but he couldn't suppress his moan as Dean sucked a hickey into his neck. 

When they finally, FINALLY, not back to the hotel, Dean was jumping from the car before it was even off. He fumbled with his key, struggling to get the key in the lock. His drunk brain unable to focus on such a small target. 

"It’s alright Dean. I got this." Sam unlocked the door for them. Dean followed him in, pushing him against the door once it was closed. Sam let the other man attack his lips. He knew Dean needed this at the moment. He needed to feel wanted and in control. 

But Sam had his boundaries. If Dean was too drunk to unlock the door. He was too drunk to consent. So when Dean began stripping from his clothes, Sam knew he needed to draw a line. 

"Alright, De, that's enough." Sam gave the man’s shoulder a light press. Dean almost fell. "Yeah, you're drunk Dean." 

"So?" Dean tried to advance once more, but Sam evaded. He seemed to move extra fast in Dean's intoxicated mind. 

"So? Really Dean?" Sam made a bitchface. "I'm going to get you out of your clothes, into your pajamas, and you're going to go to sleep." Dean’s smile faded. 

"But I thought..." 

"Not tonight Dean." Sam tipped his chin, and kissed him. It was slow and reassuring. Dean tried to deepen it, but Sam pulled away. Dean stumbled, too lost in the other man's embrace to balance himself. 

"It’s been a long week, get some sleep." Sam led Dean to the bed. He started by removing Dean's boots. The laces were a tedious process. All the while Dean swayed were he sat, already half asleep. Sam removed his socks, and Dean giggled when Sam's finger brushed the along the pad of his foot. Sam chuckled also. Then he stripped Dean of his many layer of clothes. The man had been wearing two jackets, a flannel, a Henley and an undershirt. It was quite a process. 

"Pants now." Sam ordered, pulling the other man to his feet. 

"Yeah!" Dean smiled, happily. His brain still convinced his night was going to have a 'Happy ending'. But his cry of triumph ended with a yawn. Sam rolled his eyed. Dean swayed on his feet. Sam worked fast, undoing Dean’s button and pulling them down. Dean was extra wobbly as Sam's hand around his ankle removed the garment the rest of the way. Finally, Dean was left in nothing but his boxers. He was a sight to see. Sam could stand forever, just marveling at the other man. But he did not. Instead he pulled back the covers and patted the bed. 

"Time for bed, De." Dean went willingly. He was tired, so tired. He loved the way Sam cared for him. He loved how his skin tingle wherever Sam touched. He loved Sam. Deep down inside his soul he knew he love Sam. But that feeling brought with it guilt. 

Less than an hour ago, he was willing to go home with a complete stranger. He had thought such bad things about the man he loved. And all the while Sam had been patient, loving and caring. The sickness in the pit of his stomach threatened to consume him. 

"De, listen to me. I'm not leaving. I'm going to change, and lock up. Alright?" Sam's hand softly caressed his cheek. "I'll be right back. I promise. Do you understand?" Sam spoke with caution. Dean seemed to be fading between conscious and unconscious. Dean nodded, unable to find words. He feared that if he spoke, words wouldn't passed the lump in his throat. 

He listened, following Sam around the room. The younger checked and rechecked the locks on the door. He brushed his teeth, stripped out of his clothes, filled up a cup of water and grabbed a pill bottle. Sam placed the pills and water on the nightstand. Dean would want the pain killers in the morning. He finally lay himself under the covers, beside the other man. With a hand around his waist, Sam pulled the other to him. Dean didn't struggle. He allowed his back to rest against Sam's strong chest. He relished in the feeling of Sam's soft kissed on his shoulder. 

"Hey, tell me what's wrong?" Sam could tell from the tension in Dean's shoulder. Worry filled him as he heard the other man sniffle. "De, talk to me." Sam rolled the other man onto his back, fear arose then he saw the tear path and wet pillow were his head had been. Dean refused to meet his eye. 

"Please, Dean. Talk to me." Sam brushed away the tears. 

"Sammy, I'm sorry. So sorry. I should have just stayed here, waited for you go get back. I should not have thought about the bartender like I did. It was wrong…. and the things that I thought about you. I take them all back. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you how much I cared about you soon. I was scared. I am scared. Scared that one day you will see the real me and run for the hills. Because I'm not good enough for you, Sammy. I'm not good enough for anyone." Dean sobbed. He knew he had several beers to many. He was slipping away from 'fun Dean' into 'dark and depressed Dean'. But after the last couple weeks, he needed to find some way to release all the emotions swirling inside him. 

"Ssshhh. It’s okay. You didn’t have to tell me you loved me. I knew you do. You're so good to me. I love you so much. You’re not broken. Your perfect, De. My perfect big brother. I love you and I’m willing to spend the rest of my life trying to prove it to you. Do you understand me?" Sam tilted his head, kissing him slowly.

"I love you so much, Sammy." Dean pulls away. The tears still in his eyes as he rested his head on the other man's chest. One of Sam’s hand was on the small of Dean’s back, keeping him close. Dean found sleep quickly. Feeling safe for the first time that he could remember. Sam waited until he knew Dean had drifted to sleep before found closing his eyes. He slept easy knowing Dean was safe, in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam woke early the next morning. He liked morning. They were lazy, relaxing. He could mill around. He could drink coffee, or go for a run. But instead he chose to just lay in bed, with Dean in his arms. The other man hadn’t moved much in his sleep. His head still rested on Sam’s chest. Sam was sure there was a puddle of drool there, but he didn’t care. With all the tension they had suffered over the last week, Sam was just glad to have Dean so close to him once more. 

The case had them so stressed and at odds, they hadn't been in such close proximity in weeks. Sam took the opportunity to touch the man's skin, and run his hand through the man's short hair. He rubbed away the tension in Dean's shoulders. Dean made happy sounds as he slept. Sam smirked. 

He thought about going to get breakfast. Greeting Dean with donuts and coffee. But Sam feared what Dean would do if he woke and Sam wasn't there, especially after last night. So he just waited for the other to wake, he faded in and out of consciousness, his dreams ones of happiness. 

Dean woke slowly. He tried to remember the last time he had slept so well. Weeks maybe a month. He only slept well with Sammy close to him. But with everything that had been happening, they had been so distant, that Dean couldn't remember sleeping so soundly. 

It was almost noon and Sam was still below him. Dean lifted his head, looking up to his brother. 

"Morning Sammy" he smiled up at the man. Sammy smiled down at him. He had a book in his hand, he seemed to have been awake for hours. 

"Hey, De. How's your head?" 

"It hurts pretty bad." Dean groaned. Sammy smirked. He helped Dean sit up, passing him the water and pain pills. 

"How much do you remember from last night?" 

"All of it." Dean remembered the bartender. The man he was willing to loose Sam over. He remembered the things he had said and the things Sam had said. He remembered telling the other man that he loved him, which he did. But now sober, Dean found the words sticking in his throat. Sam gave him a light smile, almost like he knew what was happening with the other man. 

"Thanks Sammy, for taking care of me... Not giving up on me." 

"Never going to give up on your stubborn ass." Sam leaned forward and kissed him. It was soft and sweet, an apology kiss. But Dean's hand in Sam's hair and his tongue in Sam's mouth quickly made it dirty. 

Dean pulled Sam on top of top him. Sam crawled up his body, resting between his knees. He gave Dean a predatory look, and Dean kneaded under it. He wrapped his legs around the larger man's frame, and Sam moaned when their cocks brushed. Dean ran his hands down Sam's body, touch and feeling the tight muscles on the other man. He used his blunt fingernails to run down the flesh on Sam's back. 

It wasn't hard enough to leave marks, but it was enough for Sam to throw his head back in pleasure. Dean took that opportunity to latch onto Sam's neck. He sucked a hickie right below the man's Adam's apple, were everyone would see. All the while he circled his ass around the hard budge in the front of Sam's boxers. With each pass, Sam grew harder. 

"Dean." Sam warned. It had been weeks since then had been together like this. Weeks of pent up frustrations and anger was ready to be released, from both of them. "If you don't stop..."

"What? Huh? You want me to stop?" Dean challenged with a shit eating grin. He continued to rib his perfect ass against Sam. The younger man tried to huff in annoyance, but it turned into a roar of pleasure. Dean continued to smirk. 

"That's it!" Sam voice boomed as he pulled away. Dean looked after him in stunned disappointment. But his mouth watered when Sam stripped out of his boxers. 

Dean wasn't a small man. None of him was. He was a solid seven inches and wide. Woman had told him he was perfect many time. But Sam. Sam had the most beautiful cock Dean had ever seen. It had a solid inch on him in length, but wasn't as wide. All Dean wanted to do was get his hands on it. 

He fumbled with his boxers. Only getting out of them when Sam's hand grabbed them and yanked. He took Dean halfway off the bed as well. The older man tried to argue, but was Sam on him and he words died in his throat. 

Sam was between his legs once more. He pulled Dean up, so they were chest to chest. Dean’s ankles locked behind Sam's back, his legs wrapped around the other man’s hips. Sam kissed him. It was soft and slow, tender and passionate. The man's hand wrapped around Dean's cock, stroking slowly.

But a split second later, Sam was biting his ear and worrying a mark into his neck. Dean loved how the man could change. He could be a lover one second and an animal the next. It made Dean even harder. 

"Sammy." It was Dean's turn to warn. Their argument had taken a toll on Dean also. Now with the man so close, Dean was on a knife’s edge. 

"Would you have preferred if I would have taken you at the bar last night? In front of those strangers?" Sam asked, his voice ragged. He rocked his body against Dean. His cock between Dean's perfect cheeks. Not penetrating, just safely tucked between them. His own precum allowing a smooth gliding with each rocking forward. He was close, the heat from Dean's core egged him on. He know that between his words and his hand, Dean would break soon. 

"Did you want me to fuck you on one of those pool tables so everyone could see? Did you want that hot bartender to see you laid out for me? Would you have made eye contact with him while I fucked you? Whose name would you have screamed when you came Dean?" 

"Sammy." Dean groaned. He was so close. Sam's words always affected him. It was still hard to imagine that his brother had such a dirty mouth. Dean was sure he could get off on Sam's words alone. Sam smirked. They were both so close. He know how to push then over the edge. 

"My name. Only me. Because I'm the only one that gets to touch you, taste you. No one else will get to know how tight you feel around them. You belong to me. You're my bitch." Sam gave one last thrust forward. He head of his dick brushing the edge of Dean's rim. Just like that, Dean was coming.

"Sammy!" His voice was ragged and strained. His body shook and tightened. He convulsed in Sam's arms. His ass tightened around Sam's cock, and Sam followed him over the edge. 

They rocked together for a several long moments, kissing lazily. Sam pulled from the kiss, tucking Dean into his shoulder. He held tightly to the other man. Worry filled him. They had talked about their limits after that first time in the hospital. Dean had blushed, and tried to avoid the topic. But they had covered most of the basic dos and don’ts. Dean mentioned that he liked when Sam was over protective. But name calling hadn't been talked about. Now, he wondered if he had pushed the other man into something he didn’t want.

"Did I go too far?" Sam asked worried. Although he whispered, his voice sounded too loud in the small space between them.

"Hell no!" Dean hummed, content for the first time in weeks.

"Dean, don't lie to me. I need to know." Sam warned. He pulled Dean away, just far enough to look in the other man’s eyes. He held Dean’s face. He would know if Dean was lying. 

“I’m not lying Sammy,” Sam studied the other man. “I swear. Sammy, I like knowing that I’m yours. Thinking about you fucking me so that other could see us… see you, taking me… ” Dean smiled at him. A pretty blush covering his face when he moaned. Sam pulled him into a kiss, moaning also. He liked the idea also. But only as a hypothetical. He would never let anyone see Dean in such a state. Dean was his. 

“You would tell me, if I went too far. Right?” Sam rested their foreheads together. Dean kissed him lightly. 

“Promise. You promise… you’re not going to leave right?” 

“I promise.” Sam kissed him again. Both of their bodies had begun to chill. The sweat from their activities cooling in the cold air of the room. Sam shivered. “I think we need a shower?” Sam offered. Dean agreed. He moved off of Sam, his back hitting the covers. 

“Sammy, you messed up the bed.” Dean groaned. His back was cold and sticky as he landed where Sam had released. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll have a maid change the sheets.” Sam smiled. He pulled the other man from the bed and led him into the shower. They were both smiling.


End file.
